


The Most To You

by halfmortal



Category: Post TLJ - Fandom, Reylo - Fandom, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VIII The Last Jedi, The Force Awakens - Fandom, The Last Jedi
Genre: Angst, Eventual Romance, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), M/M, Multi, Mutual Pining, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-14 17:05:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13012272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halfmortal/pseuds/halfmortal
Summary: Days after the battle on Crait Rey and what is left of the resistance seek a new refuge, meanwhile Kylo Ren is dealing with his choices.





	1. Alone

She lay still on her cot, staring at the ceiling of the falcon, trying to make out patterns of the aged stains splattered across. Rose had woken hours ago, so did the rest of the resistance. Rey closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. There were so few of them left. She was always the last one up, but the last one to come to bed.

At night when everyone else would turn in, that was the only time she felt at peace. She didn’t feel peoples’ eyes on her. They wondered about her she knew. Now that Luke was gone especially, they looked at her like she was the last drop of water in an endless Jakku desert. She hated it.

_Pathetic child._

She heard Snoke’s voice every morning when she woke up and every night before she went to bed. It was almost as if he was tormenting her from beyond the grave. His words were cold and calculating. _Pathetic child._

He was right after all. She couldn’t turn him, though she had truly believed.

_You are nothing._

When days were grim, and lately they always were, she would replay _his_ words over and over again. He was right too. She was nothing. No one. How could a no one like her persuade anyone of anything? It was impossible.

Feeling frustrated she sat up.

She had told them from the start she was _NO ONE_ , but they had kept looking at her like she was someone. So even she started to believe them. Why not? She had the force, she met Han Solo, Leia Organa, Luke kriffing skywalker. The legends of the galaxy, the somebodies. That had to mean something right? From the moment she landed on Ach-to in search of Luke she hoped that maybe just maybe she had been wrong. That the sad memories she buried deep with in herself were false. Someone out there had loved her so she was going to find out where they were.

She was disappointed in herself. She longed for it now, the solitude she had in Jakku if only because back then she had hope for something better.

She was tempted to meditate, to close her eyes and just let the force seep in. Sometimes she could do it just fine, but other times she could feel herself wavering. The bond. She would feel herself letting go of the hold she had on it and it would sizzle against her mind like it was begging for entrance. She wasn’t sure if it was her or _him_. She did not want to find out. She was afraid of the answer.

He had known, maybe form the start. When he interrogated her and chastised her about being just a scavenger.

_You are nothing._

“Fool.” She rose from her cot determined to have a better day than before, “you were everything, had everything. What are you now?”

Rey walked outside the falcon to find Finn, Rose and Poe sitting on the edge of a rock eating breakfast. Finn spotted her and motioned for her to join them. They had returned to Ach-to not sure about where to go. It had been about a week, but Finn had told them they were planning on leaving soon and Rey was happier for it. This island was teeming with memories she would rather forget. Her eyes scanned over the huts on the hill, until they reached her own. It was nothing more than a pile of rocks now.

“Rey come eat!” Finn motioned for her harder. She smiled brightly at him and gingerly walked over to have her meal. After everything that happened to the resistance, Finn never lost a shred of hope. He reminded everyone every day how lucky they were to be alive. To be alive one more days is to fight one more day. The resistance was not dead.

Rey was glad her friend had found a purpose after everything they had been through, jealous even. Although she very much enjoyed spending time with Finn, he was always ready to make everyone around him smile. She had found Rose to be great company too. There weren’t many young female scavengers to bond with on Jakku. Rose was a welcome addition to her small circle of friends. She was warm and considerate, and just like Finn: so full of hope. Poe was another story. When they were altogether it was fine. He was an intelligent man, brave, and kind. But sometimes all he wanted to do was talk shop. He had spoken with her silently one night on the falcon away from everyone else. 

“I’m glad to finally put a face to the name Rey.” He smiled warmly at her, “I know everything seems hopeless now but, I just know with you by our side we finally got a real shot at ending Kylo Ren once and for all.” 

She wouldn’t admit it to herself how much his words rubbed her the wrong way, but Rey made sure to always have others around when Poe was there. 

They ate like this mostly every morning over looking the water and watching the waves crash against the rocks. Today the air felt lighter around them. They were all anxious to leave, to begin again. They spoke with excitement and laughed at Poe’s stories about BB-8. Rey tried her hardest to involve herself in the conversation, to smile as brightly as she could. But she knew that until she was off the island she would feel better.

She was selfish she realized. Here she was alive, and surrounded by people who cared about her, so why did she still feel alone?

***

_Monster_

_Monster_

_MONSTER_

It wasn’t her voice he heard berating his mind every time he woke up. It was his own. It didn’t matter. He could take it. He knew his truths, and agreed with her when she had called him that a second time.

_I can help you._

Now that one was her. He would would lay awake all night because that small whisper would berate him over and over again until he couldn’t take it any longer. He would call his saber and slash at the walls as long as it took to get her voice out of his head.

The past couple days had been hellish. Hux, while content with their victory over the resistance demanded answers about Snoke. The rest of the order was also uneasy. All because of him, he knew. They didn’t believe he could lead; they didn’t have faith in him. He was not surprised, in fact that was just something he came to expect of everyone.

It didn’t matter. He was free now. Mostly.

He wasn’t anyone’s pawn any longer. Not Snoke, not Luke, his parents, he was free to make his own destiny. To choose his own path.

He had chosen.

He closed his eyes feeling moisture gather at the corners. He barely slept the past week, he was tired and his eyes stung, that was all that was.

He rose grabbed his lightsaber and began hacking the wall again. He didn’t understand. He was free now. He did what he had to do, and apparently so did she. How quickly she had discarded their bond. Faster than the doors shutting on the falcon. She’d left with her band of resistance survivors. With her _friends._

You’re not alone he had said to her; he was right she wasn’t

His movements became more erratic as he sliced through the metal surface.

_Neither are you._

Liar.


	2. Victory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leia and her band of resistance head to a new home; meanwhile Kylo Ren contemplates the legion he is leading, and their loyalties. 
> 
> [[Take note: you know what I SUCK at summaries I really do. It’s a mixture of I don’t want to spoil the whole plot and I also want to leave an air of mystery…then they just turn into those bland, vague statements you just read above. I know the summary doesn’t inspire much to the imagination but if you’re still willing to read it then god bless…I’ll try harder in the future]]

They had stayed in Voss for a week. They were in dire need of fuel, supplies, and food. Hopping around from planet to planet in the outer rim was not what Leia Organa had envisioned when she spoke of rebuilding the rebellion. But alas finally a semblance of hope came their last night on Voss. There had been an encrypted message detailed for Princess Leia of a sanctuary hidden within the forests of Aris. A sanctuary ready to receive her and her band of resistance soldiers. 

The princess sat alone at a table looking the map of the Albarrio system, where Aris was located. It was a green planet overwhelmed with rainforests and jungles. The surface might be damp and sticky, but it beat the frigid air of Voss. Better yet, if the message was true, then they would finally have a place to start rebuilding, so she felt hopeful. It had been a long two months of travel. She looked around the ship and could see tired eyes. They needed this more than anything, somewhere stable and safe. A small victory but a precious one none the less. 

“General you wanted to see me?” Poe drew her attention away from the maps. 

“You are correct commander” she smiled, “I thought we should go over our plans once we reach Aris.”

“Great.” 

“Great.” Leia smiled and looked at him expectantly.

“Oh right.” Poe smiled sheepishly, an act that reminded Leia of Han. She couldn’t help it sometimes looking at the young and daring pilot and thinking of her lost husband. They were alike in many ways. Both a bit cocky, both a little to daring for their own good, and charmers. Stars they were both charmers. “Well,” Poe began, “we’ll have to establish some sort or perimeter when we land, send someone out there to make sure it isn’t a trap or something. If all goes well, we’re going to have a lot of work ahead of us. We gotta see who else is out there, reach out.”

“All true.” Leia smiled, “one more thing.”

Poe narrowed his eyes, he was obviously raking his brain for the answer, but when he couldn’t come up with one she just shrugged. 

“We need to figure out what the First Order is up to. They have the upper hand on us now, and they will continue to do so unless we figure out their game plan.”

“Right! And the sooner we figure out what the assholes are up to the sooner we can blow something of theirs up.” Poe winked at her, and Leia chuckled genuinely.

To think in another life, Poe would have made a perfect son. As soon as the thought escaped her mind however she felt guilty and sad once more. How easy it would have been to have Dameron as her and Han’s child. Maybe not, maybe in the end he would have hated them too. She knew she couldn’t put the blame all on Ben. She had failed him just as bad or even worse than Han and Luke did. She would never forgive herself for that. 

 

\---

The air felt stiff on the bridge of the Finalizer. He felt stiff. He missed his mask. He couldn’t deny it and he was more than tempted to fashion a new one. It was tiring work keeping such a stoic affront. He did his best to keep his emotions in check now that he was the Supreme Leader. But it was tiring and the only release he would have all day was in his chambers with his lightsaber slashing across the walls. That past couple months had passed with a blur. After the events on Crait, Kylo was hell bent on finding the remaining rebels and whipping them out once and for all. Hux did not at all agree with his plans. 

“They are so minute in numbers,” he had sneered, “they are barely a threat. In time we will find them, but we need to gather our own forces now and show the rest of the galaxy true might of the First Order.”

The higher ranking officers agreed unanimously with the red head, a fact that still irritated Kylo to the bone. He had a realization then, about the Order and Hux. 

They liked him more. Hux was not wreck less or had spouts of overpowering aggravation.

They had feared and respected Snoke without a hitch. They fear him as well, although it was a different sort of fear he knew. It didn’t command the same level of respect as Snoke did. Snoke was older, mysterious, and powerful. They Order knew Ren as powerful, but after the defeat on Crait they thought him more unhinged. They feared him, he knew they did but he could sense their fear in his leadership. They did not have faith in him to lead the First Order. He could see that the fear in his powers outweighed the doubts on their minds. He could use that, would use that. The hurt that came with their lack of faith did not hit as deep as he thought it might. After all he was no stranger to the doubts of others. It was a feeling that had plagued him his entire life. His parents. His uncle. Snoke. 

Rey. 

Unlike the aforementioned however his own affections did not run deep for the people of the order as they did for the others. 

So at the behest of the Order he ruled over, they had set a course toward the core systems and began to deploy the legions of storm troopers onto the more densely populated areas as to begin demonstrating to the masses where the new authority came from. It was a tiring task if Kylo was honest. He had to be witnessed in conferences, speak numbers, sigh papers and he was sure Hux was making the process more taxing any way he could. It wasn’t like when Snoke was around, where he would sit upon his throne and wield his power with his words. Kylo had something to prove to these people, and he hated them for it. 

Today was a particular grueling day if no other reason because Hux was in a such a pleasant mood. 

“If there is nothing else…” He began, eager to leave the bridge. 

“Actually Ren-”

Now this was something that genuinely out Kylo in a good mood. Making the little weasel suffer a bit. Hux knew better than to address him so casually in front of other higher ranking members. They were not equals anymore. In fact they never were. 

“…supreme leader.” He managed to say through his blocked wind pipe. 

Kylo released his hold on him. While it was amusing to see him so red in the faced he was beginning to wonder when Hux’s berating would stop. He was sure they weren’t mere slips on the General’s part. He was playing a game. Kylo had to make sure he would be the one victorious. 

“Well?”

“Right,” the General fixed his collar and cleared his throat, “I thought now that your legions are being placed we could aim out interests back the the pathetic few who call themselves the resistance.” 

“Go on.”

“I have managed to contact a bounty hunter, a very good one.”

“No. I won’t send some mercenary. I will be there to watch them fall.”

“It is a menial task at this rate Supreme Leader. Why bother.”

“Because I said so, and my word is law. Understood?”

Hux seemed to deflate at this, “of course.” He made his way toward the door of the bridge. 

“General Hux I do have a task for you however.”

Kylo waited until Hux turned to fully face him again.

“Oh?”

“Assemble my Knights of Ren, it is time.” For a moment he could feel all eyes on him and he was glad about it. He would revel in all of their fear. 

To see Hux’s face falter at the mention of his knights made Kylo smirk. One force user was plague for the general, what about six? I will be the victor in this game, not you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow look at that an update! Well to anyone still mildly interested in this story, I know its going by at a glacial space right now but thanks for sticking with it and I promise you I have plans for this tale so once again thanks for reading! Also I know the chapter is short but I'm just trying to set some things in motion! Alright then hope you have a wonderful night…day?...afternoon?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So I actually have not seen the film yet, so I apologize if not everything matches exactly to what happened. I am going tomorrow night I am very excited. I have not self control what so ever so I've read the spoilers and seen the clips, goddamn it's going to be fantastic!
> 
> So the title comes from Sam Smith's: Too Good at Goodbyes. I feel like Iv'e been listening to this song all day thinking about reylo so i finally decided to do something about it and write a little. 
> 
> Anyway thank you for reading it's not a great masterpiece or anything, but thanks for stopping by :)


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